Needs? - Male Freedom vs. Female Security

A friend shared this from Abraham:
Here's what goes wrong: most men are really seeking freedom. We're (Abraham) teaching you the freedom you are seeking is the freedom from the bondage of resistance that is always self-imposed. But most men are looking for freedom.
 Most women are looking for security, security that they'll only find when they come into alignment with who they are. But they're looking for it through a partner.
 So she's looking for more security, which is making him feel less free, and he's looking for more freedom and that makes her feel less secure. And so that's the basis of most contention in most relationships. ~ Abraham Hicks


I Love Abraham. That is bang on. Many women take love where they can find it. They spend the rest of the time trying to jam some perfectly lovely man into the box and banging the lid down on it.
He gets speed wobbles trying to fight his way out, so she quickly sits on it and nails it shut. And he doesn't want to hang around? Go figure.
When an empowered gorgeous Goddess who knows she doesn't NEED a man shows up in a space with a gorgeous man who knows how to be a rock without being OWNED - then you got something going on. Beautiful.
I can only reference to my feminine experience of this and so I will. I used to be so scared my man would run away, that I wanted him to stay home. Guess what? He ran away. Did me (and you) a favour - because he set himself free to learn other things and made me rely on myself. A painful, beautiful, life changing gift. A transformation even. If he hadn't done that I wouldn't be doing what I am doing now. I'm grateful in the end. Standing back and looking at the big picture is beautiful.
I was a self imposed doormat that transformed and grew into a magic carpet.
I'm no love guru, but this much I do know. If you get it, before he runs away and you stop clinging, he suddenly gets the freedom he needs and he may not go. The kicker is - he will only get that if you work on yourself. It's not your job to work on him, it's your job to be the strong empowered Goddess you were born to be, creating your own magical life. If he goes, he is not yours and you have some situation or person coming that is much more suitable for you. Trust in that because if you keep your attitude upright it will happen. Bitching, bitterness and man hating will not bring you new love on any level above what you had, it simply reveals you didn't get the lesson and worse, you will very likely end up with the same guy just with a different 'suit'. (Yes I'm still speaking from experience)
It's nobodys responsibility but yours to make YOU happy.
You can be your own new love. Go plan some great things to do and instead of waiting by the phone, let it go to message.
And don't bag men. Or hang out with manhaters. Manhaters have a vibe all of their own and regularly take negative pleasure perpetuating their own myths by attracting womenhaters.
If a new relationship starts with, "my ex did this to me" and you meet that with a sad or angry story of your own, you have little more in common but pain and negativity.
Give all that a great big swerve, do some work on yourself and be grace filled and gorgeous.
You'll likely save yourself years of pain, possibly wrinkles, and maybe even money.

(c) Deb Wharfe 2012